The concept of self-love seems to be under perpetual attack, from the right, the left, and the center. It seems that self-love, narcissism and selfishness or selflessness are all concepts that manage to disguise the authentic meaning of self love. For me I find it easier to lump all aspects of self-love under the umbrella of managing ones life.
Management is an executive function that has come primarily under the influence of the ego, that aspect of ourselves that we generally think of when we call ourselves by our first name. Repeat to yourself the following: “My Ego’s name is___(Al)______________.” That give you a clear sense, and a sense that you can continue to clarify anytime you decide that it is necessary to check in with yourself to make sure that you are on the track for knowing what you want and what you want to do in life. Without that compass to due north we are, indeed lost in a sea of consciousness.
The management of self-love will never be satisfying if it emits exclusively from the ego. Therefore it is of primary importance to we seekers that we know how to subjectively look within for data and information that comes from the other aspects of our organism other than the left-brain ego. For starters the best way to access our more primal instincts is to simply stop as much thinking in english as we can, calm our bodies by taking simply a few deep breaths, to ensure that we are preparing ourselves for the transition to the search within instead of the objective and perpetual scanning of all that is outside of us. Then calmly ask yourself this question.
If I could have anything and everything that I wanted what would that be? If I were able to permit no resistances to
my most heartfelt desires what would that look like?
There has to be no moral, no religious, no social or civilized judgements about your most inner and most personal wants. This simple exercise in Letting-Go of Fear requires abject honesty with yourself and perhaps with your analyst, but with no one else, not your beloved partner, not your priest or minister….this is entirely a personal inventory that will help to guide you toward finding the star that you want to hitch a ride from. Keep in mind we are lost in
a sea of consciousness until we know our true north.
Self-Love is a state of human affairs where by we understand that the primal objective of life is to successfully survive. Self-love begins with an ability to access our survival instincts. These instincts however are hidden under the shadow of the ego and getting to these instincts means that we have to be prepared to have a discussion with the aspect of us that is the Ego. The Ego, as chief executive of the human organism, will not relinquish power readily. So, you have to be prepared to go into the bosses office and be entirely straight, entirely honest with what you want for yourself and you must be able to fight off
the powerful intimidating and over-whelming feelings that the Ego will erect as a defense against you wanting to consult the wider sea of consciousness.
Once in the presence of our deeper instincts rather than solely in the presence of the Ego, we can look at forgiveness, compassion we can see that Love is an action that we take, not a thing we have. We can embrace all aspects of what we want because what we want is as good for ourselves as it is good for people and critters around us. Narrow in on the positive feelings that would erupt if you were living exactly the way you would like to live your life. And begin
to believe that you can and will have what you want once you know how to handle the pressures and the stresses of your own ego.
All conflict in life is within the ego. The metaphor that I have been using about ego induced conflict is this: “You are going to a horse race with only two horses racing. You decide to bet $1000 on one horse and to hedge your bet you bet $1000 on the other horse.” That is the consequence of winning a battle within the ego…there can be no winner and no looser.
Quiet the mind for a moment, let yourself access anything and everything that you want and place no restrictions whatsoever on that desire….open your eyes and go on living as if nothing happened.